How did a computer scientist such as Geoffrey Hinton manage to win a Nobel Prize in physics when computer science already has its own Nobel Prize equivalent in the Turing Awards?

They then move on to selectively provide their own version of history. But hey, it’s OK. They wanted controversy, didn’t they? Whatever.

"Didn't he do something with Boltzmann in it? That sounds physics-y. RBMs and stuff, eh?"

In December 1973, when Kissinger was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, comedian Tom Lehrer dropped his mic and stamped on it—satire had just died.

Even Captain James T. Kirk was trapped in a woman's body. Don't you think he'd support trans people?

"Good idea, but how can we wangle something that says 'Physics'?"

You can have your cake and eat it too

(Mumbles of assent)

What is the reasoning behind conspiracy theorists claiming that there were multiple shooters involved in the JFK assassination?

"Hey guys, AI is pretty big so let's centre our prizes on it this year. We can get some attention, and it's all about advertising, at the end of the day, isn't it?"

A fly on the wall at the Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences

^* Fibiger got the 1926 Medicine prize for the discovery of Spiroptera carcinoma (Don’t ask).

Why don't I want to talk to my girlfriend when she loves me a lot? I feel bored.

[Younger voice] "But wait a minute, Ising-Lenz goes back to the 1920's. And didn't Hinton plagiarise rather a lot? He also didn't invent modern backprop, did he, that's Linnainmaa? And Amari preceded Hopfield, too. That's not a good look."

In awarding prizes, the Nobel Committees often seem only marginally more competent than MTG is at explaining meteorology. And if they can give a literature prize for lyrics like:

… then anything is possible. There’s no rule that a Nobel Prize has to make sense.^*

I gave him everything. He said he loved me. Why?

Whatever.

"Naah, Linnainmaa is a Finn. Can't give it to a bloody Finnish mathematician. Let's go for drinks. Brännvin anyone?"

[The basic structure of artificial neural networks] has close similarities with spin models in statistical physics applied to magnetism or alloy theory. This year’s Nobel Prize in Physics recognizes research exploiting this connection to make breakthrough methodological advances in the field of ANN.

Why do narcissists keep calling on the phone after years of separation?

"Good point, I'm sure we can swing it. And let's tack on Hopfield while we're about it."

When he's standing, in front of you

[Older voice] "Mmm. What about Hinton, he's widely regarded? Nobody got fired for buying IBM"

I’ve a dismissive avoidant partner who said that he’s overwhelmed by our relationship and that he wants to break up, how do I get him back?

Why wait any longer for the one you love?

My 11 million SEK, Dr Jo.

^† They rationalise their decision thusly:

What is the original source of the discord between Princes Harry and William? Does it go back to their childhood, or did it start with Meghan Markle?

(Bob Dylan, Nobel Prize for Literature, 2016)

There you go.^†

Whatever.

As a woman, what would be you response to a male friend’s offer of a full body massage?

Fortunately, we are privy to the discussion that led up to this:

"Where can we shoehorn it in? Chemistry is easy 'cos AlphaFold; but what about physics? A bit more challenging, right?"

Why wait any longer for the world to begin?

How can you maintain self-control?